Today I have been thinking about a subject that may be a little misunderstood - COURAGE. Most people think that courage is what takes place when a person does something like rescue a little baby from a burning house or save someone from drowning. But, the older I get, the more I realize that courage is more than that. It takes a great deal of courage to face life's ordinary, everyday challenges. Every day we make choices which prove to the world, and ourselves, whether or not we are courageous. It takes courage to stand up for your convictions in given circumstances instead of caving in because it is more comfortable. It even gets down to the fact that we choose either to believe God is Who He says He is and trust Him or to cower in fear and doubt.

Some even say it takes courage to build a meaningful marriage. I can see that it takes an enormous amount of courage to let your spouse see you for who you really are - good or bad. It also takes courage to look your spouse in the eye and let him/her know that the marriage is in trouble and that you need to do something about it. What I'll call "relational courage" also applies to parenting. Doing the right thing when your child throws a temper tantrum and really looks cute (ugh!) but needs discipline takes courage as well.

I have come to realize that courage is only attained when I face my crippling fears and not run from them. Courage is something we all need and God wants us to have it. He says, "God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power." But, I do have to go after it. So, here I go!

I know it's been a very long time since I've posted but today I thought I would share a little of what God is doing in my life.

At 61 years of age, you wouldn't think I would still need this, but God has been working on me in the area of CHARACTER. Character has been described as "who you are when no one's looking". This is not to be confused with Reputation, which is "what others think of you". I desire to be the same ALL THE TIME! I do understand that, in the time we are living, Character is an endangered quality.

I can't find this word in the Bible but I immediately recognize its absence - in me and others. It is not what we have done, but who we are! I do understand that developing character takes a long, long time. It's one of those things in which you take two steps forward and one step back.

There are many character qualities that I need to work on - such as: courage, discipline (that's a big one for me), tough love and most of all, the character of Christ. I'll probably talk more in future posts about each of these qualities specifically.

As I try to work out this thing called Character, I'm reminded by my Lord that it doesn't matter how wonderful your character is, it will never be enough to earn God's approval. It is not a way to earn salvation. Praise God that this is a gift from our Father. Nope, can't earn it. It's a gift. I'm so very thankful for that.

Since Character is our world's most pressing need, I press on to this high calling. To the extent that our own Characters grow stronger, the world will be a better place. I want to be a part of that!

On my way to work this morning, I was deeply touched by a message on the radio by Dr. James Dobson, Focus on the Family. It was from 29 years ago today and was regarding Dr. Dobson's relationship to his father. Dr. Dobson stated that he asked God for a word, His word, concerning the family and this is what God gave him: "Our country can still be saved if men, husbands and fathers, will step up to the plate and be the men God created them to be." What a responsibility! I believe this to be true.

He gave statistics that were shocking - and, remember this was 29 years ago. He said that research was done to show exactly how much time fathers were spending with their kids. The fathers were first asked how much time they felt they were spending with their children on a daily basis. The consensus was an average of 37 - 40 minutes a day. Then the real test came! Tiny microphones were placed on children in these same households to find out exactly how much time fathers were spending interacting with their kids. The results were shocking to all! The average time fathers were spending with their kids per day was 37.7 seconds - not minutes - seconds. What does this tell you about the relationships these fathers had with their kids?! Oh, so sad!! If any dads read this, PLEASE put your family before anything else - job, hobbies, and yes, even church. You have it within your grasp to leave a living legacy to your family. Make this a priority each day. You won't regret it!

At the end of my life - when all is said and done - I hope my children and grandchildren will be able to say that I gave my time to them. It is my sincere prayer that I don't just spend time - but quality time - showing them the ways of our Lord. I want to make a difference in their lives.

I know I haven't posted in a while but just haven't taken the time. Today's post will just be a bunch of "ramblings" that have been going around in my head for a while.

I've been thinking about how much laughter helps us through life. Then Sunday Chris preached about that and used an illustration I love about the movie, Monsters, Inc. I love that movie and know it well since my precious little grandchildren love to watch it. Therefore, I love to watch it, too. The story is a really good lesson for all of us. If you aren't familiar with the movie, it's about a company of monsters who make electricity using the screams of children as these monsters scare them. Then, they discover that the giggling and laughter of children makes more electricity than the screams. (Get the message - laughter is a good thing!) I really believe this is true in all of our lives. If we are positive and allow laughter to be a part of our everyday lives, it will take us through many trials. Sometimes this is easy to forget. But, we do have a lot to celebrate in our lives - no matter what we've been through. Each new day is a gift from God. I try to thank Him each morning for that day - another chance to live for Him - another day full of His grace. I want to practice thankfulness each day.

Sometimes I think we spend our lives waiting for something better to happen and we miss the many opportunities for happiness that "slap us in the face" daily. You know the way we ladies are - we want a prettier, bigger or CLEANER house before we ask friends over. My, we miss out a lot of good times if we keep waiting.

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is that we should delight in the small things. I think the older I get, the more this become a reality in my life. Things that I never paid attention to in the past, are really special to me now.

You've probably heard the old saying, "Slow down and smell the roses." Well, there's a whole lot of truth to that. It seems that time goes faster and faster and faster. That makes it more difficult to take the time for "smelling the roses". But, I think it's really important to make yourself enjoy the trip and not just the destination.

I'm also learning to listen to people. In the past, I would carry on a conversation with someone and leave without remembering a thing they said. Now, I try to "really" listen to what people are saying and "what they aren't saying".

I guess I can sum all of this up with two words - CELEBRATE LIFE! That's what I want to do for the rest of the days God has for me.

I am reading an excellent book right now that I feel is worth passing along. It's entitled Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. The chapter I just finished that I really want to pass along to you is called Decode Your Kid's Code. It has some wonderful thoughts on raising kids that I wish I had known years ago. Max is saying so eloquently that every child is "uncommon" and, as parents, you are given the task by God to unlock the door to your child's uncommonness. He states, "As parents, we accelerate or stifle, release or repress our children's giftedness. They will spend much of life benefiting or recovering from our influence." His take on the scripture in Proverbs 22:6 ("Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.") is unlike any other I've ever read. He gives the root words for "train up" as "to develop a thirst". He says we, as parents, are required to "awaken thirst" in our children. He suggests that when babies are born, they come with preprogrammed hard drives. Where the scripture says, "...in the way he should go", Max's take is that "way" refers to a unique capacity or characteristic. He says that "way" can also mean "bent". He says that God has already "bent" your child in a certain0. direction. He hands you a preset bow that you secure until the day of release. Raise your child in the way "he should go". So we are required to read our child's God-designed itinerary. "Don't see your child as a blank slate awating your pen, but as a written book awaiting your study." Isn't that awesome?!! It changes the way we look at our newborns, doesn't it? I always thought that I had to "make something" of my little ones. But, according to this newfound information, I should have directed them in the way that God had already preset them to be. Like I said at the start, I wish I had known this years ago. I'm sorry, Michael, Donnie, Angie and Liz. I did the best I knew at the time and, thank God, He took over where I failed.

Now, you guys can take my advice and do better than I did at this parenting thing. Isn't that what we want for our kids - to do better than we did? I think so.

Please get the book and study it from cover to cover. It's full of wisdom and so well written.

Gary D. Chapman, in his study entitled "Communicate Love to Your Spouse" says he believes there are only five languages of love. Each person uses all the languages, but really thrives on one. The better you speak your spouse's love language, the stronger your emotional love life will be. For those unfamiliar with love languages, here's a brief course:

Words of Affirmation. Proverbs 18:21 says that the tongue has the power of life and death. This language uses words to honor and appreciate your spouse.

Gifts. A gifts tells your spouse that he/she was thinking about you. Gifts don't need to be expensive. After all, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? With gifts, it isn't what you give, but how often you give that communicates love.

Acts of Service. The Bible tells us to love not only in word but in action. Acts of service include: washing the car, walking the dog, changing the baby, doing the dishes, or whatever needs doing.

Quality Time. This means giving your spouse undivided attention. Maybe it's a picnic, a weekend away, or just muting the TV. The important thing is the two of you focusing on each other.

Physical Touch. We've long known the emotional power of physical touch. Holding hands, embracing, a back rub, even putting your hand on your mate's leg while you drive.

So, how do you discover your spouse's love language? Ask yourself the following questions:

"How does my spouse most often express love to me?" If they give you words of affirmation, that may be their love language. They're usually giving you what they wish to receive.

"What does my spouse complain about most often?" Our complaints reveal our deepest desires. This can give you a hint at your spouse's love language.

"What does my spouse request most often?" If your spouse routinely asks if you would help make the bed or give the children a bath tonight, then Acts of Service may be his or her primary love language.

You need three things to be a successful lover:
1. Information. What is your spouse's love language?
2. Will. Love is an active choice.
3. Frequency. Use your spouse's primary language to express love regularly.

This is really good information given by Gary Chapman who is a marriage and relationship expert. HOPE IT HELPS!

I had another thought on communication that I believe is worth sharing. A good way to improve communication with your spouse is to use only words that are good for the edification (building up) of your spouse. The scripture speaks of the mouth speaking what fills the heart. If our heart dwells on bitter resentment or uncontrolled anger, then the words we speak will be full of attacks, slander and hurtful accusations. If our heart dwells on Christ as our model for love and forgiveness, our words will be tenderly gentle, kindhearted, forgiving, with the heartfelt purpose of edifying and encouraging our spouse. The Bible warns us to not let any unwholesome word proceed from our mouth. Our purpose should be to bless our spouse with our words, paying close attention to the need of the moment, giving grace to our spouse through our words. Proverbs 15:1 says that harsh words stir up anger. Later in the 15th chapter of Proverbs, it is stated that a timely word that is full of tenderness and compassion is delightful. Let our desire be to bless our spouse with words that build up and encourage.

I would like to recommend a book for your reading. It is titled "Families Where Grace is in Place". This is one of the best "family" books I've ever read. Of course, it talks about giving grace in your family life. It is well worth the read.

We'll talk more later.