Wouldn't it be nice if, upon leaving the hospital with your new little bundle of joy, you were given a step-by-step approach to parenting? Having that precious little one is such a blessing but sometimes leaves his or her parents scratching their heads and spending lots of "knee time" in prayer trying to figure out the best way to raise this little one that God has so graciously and miraculously blessed you with.
It all starts with bringing them home and they, hopefully, sleep a lot. It seems all they do is sleep, eat, poop and sleep some more. What a wonderfully easy time of parenting. Then, before you know it, they are deciding that THEY want to decide when they will be awake, when they will eat, etc., etc. In other words, they begin to insert their own little authority and want to be "the boss". So, this is your first attempt at discipline. You wonder if you should do just as they wish (after all they are so tiny and precious) or make them fit into your schedule. I don't think anyone really knows the answer to that one. I believe that you just have to "feel your way" with each child. I had four and each had their own individual personality. What worked for one didn't necessarily work for any of the others. The first thing that I know for sure is that when they are little is the time to establish your authority and set boundaries that they will understand. If you neglect to do this at an early age, for whatever reason, you will most certainly have to face a much more difficult task when your little one gets older. It gets harder as they grow!
The second thing I know for sure is that all discipline and boundary-setting needs to be demonstrated with total love - and never out of anger. Sure, you may be angry with your child at times, but you should take a minute to "cool off" and then deal with the situation. I know that administering discipline is very often frustrating but there is no substitute for a loving mom and dad teaching the child the "laws of the land".
The third thing I know for sure is that you have to be consistent with your boundaries. There are many times when it would be so much easier just to ignore the little "lawbreaker". Don't they always misbehave when you are on an important telephone call or in the middle of a conversation with someone? But, it's best to stop what you are doing and take care of the situation right then and there. (Believe me, they really do think they can get by with breaking the "law" when you are busy with something else!!)
The fourth thing I know for sure is that there is a difference in a mistake and willful disobedience. For instance, if a child continues to spill milk at the table, that's not willful disobedience. That's a childhood error that occurs in all households. Willful disobedience is when they look you straight in the eye, give you that cute little grin, and do what you just told them not to do. That's when discipline is called for.
The fifth thing I know for sure is that it is essential to always balance firmness with loving sensitivity when disciplining. Regardless of what the liberal world says, spanking can be a valuable disciplinary tool, if administered appropriately. It is not the best way for every child or at every age. I have found that a short "time out" works well on some children. This is where the little one has to sit alone and think for a minute if what they just did is worth being separated from others. You just have to see what works best for each individual child.
The sixth thing I know for sure is that there are a few skills that you must teach your children while they are young. If you don't, the world will "beat" it into them later. Self-control, respect for authority - these are just a couple of the things you are commissioned to teach your kids. They must have these skills in order to meet the demands imposed upon them by school, peers and even jobs later in life.
The last thing I know for sure is that the Lord will continually be your guide through this uncharted sea of life. You just have to spend time with Him each day to get His directions for you that day.
