Just a few words today on how to boost your mate's self-esteem. Have you ever heard the term "sweet spot"? Well, I believe there is such a thing as a "sweet spot of praise" built into our men. Ladies, try to find out what he really wants to hear from you. Maybe it's that he's handsome, a good lover, a good father, good at mowing the lawn . . . . But, whatever that "spot" is in him, make your admiration meaningful and from a sincere heart - one that really sees his good traits and desires to praise him for them. The more you praise him and admire him, the more he will make a healthy habit of performing for you.

Men, like women, need to feel capable in several areas of their lives: mental, social, physical and spiritual. More than anything else, though, he needs to know that your love, not unlike God's love, is not dependent on how he looks or what he does. You love him unconditionally - even if you don't like him very much at any given moment. You've probably learned by now that loving and liking aren't the same thing. Liking depends on the circumstances and love is "all the time". Why don't you make a list of all the things you appreciate about your husband. Take time and ponder this. Then let him see the list with examples of each good trait. After showing your list to him, keep it handy so you can refer to it often - as a reminder to yourself of how blesed you are. Please remember to be sincere and not phony. Don't simply go through the motions. This will probably do more harm than good. NO FLATTERY! Praise and admiration must reflect genuine feelings to have any value. If you don't mean it, don't say it.

Remember that you never know how long you have to work on building him up so make the most of every day.